A Wee Problem – Finally A Solution!

We have been having a “wee” problem with our almost six year old daughter for nearly six months now. She has been toilet trained since the age of three, has no accidents at night but our problem is not “going” when she needs to “go”.

We have no problems when she is at home with us but when she has friends over, goes to a friends house or sometimes at school she forgets herself, getting so engrossed with play she ignores the urge to go to the toilet and so the march to the laundry begins.

At first we did all the things a parent is supposed to do…we stayed calm, not making a big deal of it and reiterating over and over again….”go to the toilet when you need to go”. As the weeks, months dragged on our frustration grew and we tried a number of different approaches to try and win the wee battle. We tried reward charts, which worked for a week or so and then the novelty wore off. We tried taking her collection of My Little Ponies away for a week, she was fine until she got them back and we were back to square one. In desperation my husband cleared her whole room of toys, not one remained on the shelves – it did look very grim. Still no luck.

Four weeks ago we saw red after having wet herself whilst playing with a friend she tried to sneak her underwear into the washing pile and I caught her. My husband wondered whether she needed to see a doctor, I said no as it was quite clear to me it was a matter of paying attention not physiological as she had no problems at night. We were at the end of our tether so we sat her down and put it bluntly to her  that if she kept this up no one would want to play with her or have her at their house if she had accidents. We explained that wetting ones pants was not what big people do. Then we decided to hit her where it hurt – no play dates for two weeks.

Over the space of the next two weeks she was invited to friends places and she had to tell them that she couldn’t go. She asked for friends to come over, the “no” answer did not go down well but we reminded her that these were the consequences.

Well we seem to have hit the jackpot with this tactic. It appears that not getting what you want and being denied the opportunity to play with her friends struck a chord. We have had no accidents for almost a month now and she tells me the reasons why she is going to the toilet “not to have an accident and because no accidents means I can play with my friends”.

So finally it appears we have this issue sorted….no I just have to toilet train child number two!

Linda

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